The leadership debate

Do you think it’s right to let homosexuals have leadership/servant roles in the Church?

This post was written as a response to a question in a group on Facebook March 2019

I have to say yes.

I grew up in a Christian home, missionary parents, heart for the Lord, would have been a Minister but for the fact that I realised I was attracted to other males when I was around 11.

Couldn’t reconcile being Gay and being Christian, had counselling, talked to Ministers, got prayed over; all that.

Was told ‘you can’t be Christian and Gay’. Left the church.  :’(

Got involved in sex and drugs and rock ‘n’ roll.

Still had a yearning for God.

Now, I would say that my gift is belief or faith. Didn’t understand that then.

God didn’t like me, I was an embarrassment to my parents, the church seemed a whole lot of bullshit. Became an Anarchist 😊

Moved back to the country I was born in. Was doing a photography assignment, someone from the church I was photographing talked to me, let me in to take pics in the church.

Felt I had to go back that Sunday just to say thanks.

Kept going, got told maybe I could be loved by God if I didn’t have sex or do anything wrong.

Went to Bible College, did Living Waters. Began to understand the panorama of Scripture, the life of a world that it tells.  Was celibate. Sang at church (found out I have an amazing voice), found out that I feel more close to God singing than I do at any other time. Singing TO God. Celebrating that I can be loved.

But you can’t go on being a sexual being, an emotional being without filling that rice stomach that needs relationship, love, companionship. I was still attracted to other guys.

Living Waters was great; everything is because you have a dominant mother and you didn’t spend a lot of time with your Dad. You can be healed if you just act like a man. It’s cognitive behavioural therapy.  No amount of workshops, and counselling and being prayed over made any difference;

I didn’t change, and I REALLY wanted to change.

It made me realise that change was not possible.     And I was sad for a while.

No ones sexual attractions were changed. Just behaviour. And in the end a greater sense of not being good enough.

As I finished my course, I was learning about music worship at a larger Baptist Church. Leading sometimes. Loving God. Having spiritual counselling at church too.

Was told that even though I am celibate the deacons felt that having me up there and leading worship where people feel ensconced in the love of God, might give some people the impression that the church agrees with homosexuality and that there were also impressionable people in the congregation who might come out as gay.

So please just sit in the back.

I left the church.

Moved again. Met people from a ‘Gay’ church. Thought that it was ludicrous that people could think homosexuality was okay. But at least I could sing and gradually I gained a different idea of God.

A God who actually was loving, one who loved me no matter what.

“No, no; that baggage, you give that to me.

I know you’re not perfect, learn from that baggage, move on.”

Read all sorts of books about homosexuality and scripture. Went to talks, watched Documentaries, read my Bible in English and Hebrew and Greek.

Even made a documentary about Homosexuality and the Bible.

Began to realise that actually Jesus had freed me.

Now I go to a Baptist Church in the morning where everyone is accepted, no question and if you are part of the church family then anyone can be a deacon or lead worship or preach. A church whose focus is to be there for anyone. Hard at the core, soft at the edges. Most loving Christian church I have ever been to.

And in the evening I go to a non-denominational church in a gorgeous Anglican church where I sometimes organise services, preach, pray, sing, make supper – and I am on the Board.

I believe God loves me, I believe God wants me to be free, to walk tall with my back straight and be the person I am meant to be. If God does think that my long-term relationship with my partner is against the law or worthy of me dying for, then so be it.

I don’t believe He’s that sort of God.

No matter your colour, or race or religion. No matter your gender or sexuality. No matter whether you’re good or bad. God loves you and because of Jesus you will pay no penalty for anything.

But honour that; do walk tall. Do, do the right thing. Do follow his commandments, Love God, who gives you everything, even the very breath you breath and the eyes you use to read this.

And love others as God loves you, treat others as you want to be treated. A little love goes a long way.

So Yes. Have homosexuals in your church, and in your leadership and in your life.

Stand Up, and make others stand up, and know the love of God and go out and do Gods work in the world.